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Omegley Tips

Posted On 11:47 PM by Official 1 comments

Now if you have been reading my blog, I think you are aware that I am a bit of an omegle addict. Well, not completely. But I'm heading there. This post is completely different from my other ones, so excuse me. It involves me getting preachy and very know-it-all-ish... Something that doesn't go down well with ANYONE.

I know.

Nevertheless.

What is Omegle? Omegle in one word is Procrastination. But since you are such a n00b and probably staring into the surroundings with your jaw dropped making this confused face I cannot be bothered to describe ( just get it!... a confused face), I shall indulge.

Omegle is basically a website that allows you to just chat with strangers.

Strangers.

Thats what is SO cool about omegle. And that is also the reason why it is also a bit of a pain in the bum. But lets not speak of its cons just yet.

How do I use it? Well, all you have to do is go to Omegle and click on the big blue "Start a chat" button right in the centre of the page. It takes you to another page which looks very similar to (well, at least since I use it) an MSN Messenger chat window. You will be christened with the username 'You' and the person you are chatting with will be identified as 'Stranger'. What happens next is upto you...

But lets be warned here that it will take a LONG time for you to actually strike up a conversation. Don't let that put you down.

Persevere.

But, why would I wanna talk to strangers? Unless you have "other" intentions with the site, you will probably be visiting it because you are either 'bored' or (as mentioned earlier) 'procrastinating'. There doesn't seem to be any specific reason why anyone would wanna talk to strangers.

Fine. I'm interested in the site. But I don't know what to say to a complete stranger. The first two times I tried the random chat, I actually freaked out. For no apparent reason. I just spazzed out. And closed the window. The third time someone came on and the first thing he/she said was, "10 random facts about you... shoot".

I was still freaked. So I closed the window.

But here are some things you can talk to them about.

After the casual "hey" or "hi" and the formal salutations in which you ask them either "wassup?" or "how are you" you could use any of the following:

-What are you doing?
-What are you listening/watching to?
-Whats the last movie you watched?
-What do you do?
-Whats your favorite artist/movie/ice cream flavor... you know...?

I weirdly have the habit of asking them if they are Nerdfighters. Something that doesn't go down very well at all. Most times I'm explaining what Nerdfighters are.

You could also break formal boundaries by asking them who it is. At least this way you get to know if your talking to a dude or a chick.

Warnings:

My experience on the site has thought me a number of things.

1) As someone once told me, the people on there might just be horny. I normally disconnect conversations starting with asl.

2) People will not know English and may even reply in Chinese/Japanese. Relax, just disconnect. Its not much of a 'racial' issue, but people may wanna talk to people from their respective country. So, they may just disconnect you after they find out your from another country. Don't take it to heart.

As I said. Persevere.

Here is a tip that I think I figured out in case your a bit specific about the people you wanna chat with, if someone starts of with a "Hello" in response to your "Hey" or "Hi", I think its safe to say that English isn't their predominant language.

You could skip this if you wanna meet people from around the world.

3) People come on the site with dumb expectations. As a matter of fact you too will be on there, and for some reason will imagine some one of the opposite sex as the 'Stranger'. Its not always the condition. But sometimes some people will find that out and disconnect you.

Persevere.

4)I guess it goes without saying, please make sure you don't give out unnecessary information here.

(Is it evident that I'm REALLY bad at this self help kinda thingy that I'm trying to write up here?)

A conversation I had today,

Stranger:knock knock
You: who is there?
Stranger: disco
You: disco who?
Stranger: disconnect

*stranger disconnects the conversation*


How to Pick Up Girls on Orkut

Posted On 11:37 PM by Official 0 comments



There are several ways you could approach this situation. You could talk to girls in real life, but that is slow and difficult. Because communicating via network is more powerful than communicating via broadcast, we would be losing out on the network effect if we were to approach girls manually. Approaching girls at parties and bars is like Pussy 1.0. I'm here today to introduce you to an entirely new concept, one that I like to call Pussy 2.0. By using Orkut, we can greatly amplify our ability to pick up bitches. Think of it like turning a pussy magnet into a pussy electro-magnet.

Setting the Scene

The first step is making yourself look cool. In general, you want to project an image that combines manliness and wealth. No balls, no blue chips. No blue chips, blue balls.

Now that you know the strategy, let's look at the tactics:

1. Get as many friends as possible. If you don't have at least 100 friends, you should probably kill yourself.
2. Write on lots of people's walls. Then they'll be obligated to write back on your wall, and you'll look really cool.
3. Make sure you're profile picture has alcohol in it. This will make it look like you have lots of friends and get invited to all the cool parties.
4. Under interests, list things like your favorite clothing brand and where you last went on vacation. This will subtly hint that you have lots of money in a tasteful way.
5. Say that you're married to another guy. Everyone will think this is really funny. Trust me.
6. If all your music tastes are really obscure, add at least one trashy pop album. This will make you look like a man of the people. Alternatively, if all your music is generic rock, add at least one album that no one has ever heard of. This will make you look classy.
7. Join lots of political groups about things like ending discrimination and saving Darfur. This absolves you from real world responsibilities like helping others and voting. If Martin Luther King Jr. were still alive today, this is exactly what he'd be doing.

Remember, success comes first in the mind, then in your pants, never the other way around.

The Initial Contact

The next step is to actually approach the women. Here are some general principles for success:

1. Poke lots of random girls. If you do this enough, one of them will definitely have sex with you.
2. Choose girls with no pictures. If the girl has no picture, there's probably a reason. If you want to seal the deal, then deal with the seal. Ask girls out on their wall instead of through private messages. If you can't charm them into saying yes, then publicly embarrass them into not saying no.
3. Once you ask her out and she says yes, don't sign onto AIM or answer your phone until your date. This will make it harder for her to change her mind.
4. Similarly to rule three, choose a date that's hard for her to get out of if she gets nervous. For a good first date, I'd suggest a plane ride to Thailand with a twelve year old bottle of wine.

Getting Her to Have Sex With You

When trying to figure out whether or not a girl likes you, learn to recognize the holy trinity: She touches you, she lets you touch her, or she touches herself. While there's no way to know for sure whether a girl likes you short of hooking electrodes up to her genitals, these are some good signs. But what do you do if she doesn't seem to like you? The best answer is hypnosis. Here are some tips:

1. Try to penetrate your vocabulary with sexual words to get her subliminally turned on. Use phrases like, "The sky above us is so beautiful, but so is the ground blow me." This will make her want to have sex with you. It really works!!
2. Using leading phrases like, "Before we go back to my apartment, would you like another drink?" By hiding a statement inside a question, she is forced to do what you say, as if you had Jedi mind powers. This rare technique is impossible for her to resist.

If you have followed all of the previously steps correctly, the girl should now be having sex with you. Congratulations!

                                               Looking for orkut girls?


Fake Orkut Page

Posted On 11:29 PM by Official 0 comments



hairy_bikers_cookbook.jpg

Posted On 6:58 PM by Official 0 comments


fun,fun n more fun

Posted On 10:46 PM by Official 0 comments



5 reasons why I hate Twitter

Posted On 10:16 PM by Official 0 comments


Well good day folks. I’m back on Twitter, did you hear? How exciting and nice of them to fix things! I’m so thrilled to be back. I’m also considering where I may decide to move to now… I’m considering a move.
I’ve been using Twitter since February 2007. During that time I have accumulated 1,516 followers. That’s 1,516 people who find some form of value or entertainment in my tweets, thanks guys. I have posted nearly 9,000 tweets on Twitter. It’s hard to believe that I’ve been that active! It seems like just yesterday when I was celebrating my 8,000th tweet.
The following are five reasons why I hate Twitter, but before I get into that I should also give you five reasons why I love it. What’s a tweeter to do?
Top five reasons why I love Twitter:
1. Immediacy. I was among the first people to know about the earthquake in San Jose last year and in Los Angeles the other day. News travels quickly on Twitter. A kid was saved from prison in Egypt, because he was able to tweet that he had been arrested, the community instantly kicked into gear to quickly find him a lawyer and get him home.
2. Social. An example of this was during SXSW. I had had enough of the parties and wanted to spend a relaxing quiet night out for dinner. I tweeted to the SXSW attendees (using the #sxsw tag) and within minutes Kris Smith replied. I now consider Kris a great friend with great taste in Austin Italian restaurants!
3. Human Search Engine. Who needs Google when you have Twitter. A friend and I were stumped when we saw an actor who’s name we couldn’t place. We snapped a shot of him and shared it with Twitter, and within minutes we knew who he was. That story here.
4. Relationships. It’s remarkable how many people I have met on Twitter who I now consider close friends. It’s on Twitter where many relationships are created. I’ve presented about the way it’s very difficult to B.S. in 140 characters or less at PodCamp Toronto and PodCamp Nashville. You need to find the perfect words to explain yourself, there’s little room for embellishments. So you can get a true sense of a person after only knowing them for a few tweets.
5. Back Channel. Go to any tech conference and you’ll see the majority of people using Twitter as a way to communicate when a speaker is in session. At SXSW we tweeted to each other how ridiculous Sara Lacy’s interview was with Facebook’s Matt Zuckerburg. At Gnomedex last year a presenter was talking about alternative energy. His presentation skills lacked a little, so attendees took it to Twitter to better explain what the speaker was talking about, it was incredible to witness.
Of course my main love for Twitter is the Community (bonus #6), I believe everything above is a part of the Community. Without the people there would be no Twitter. I don’t love Twitter, I love the people on Twitter who make it such a vibrant place to be. I don’t love Twitter, I don’t even like Twitter at the moment – I may even hate them.
Top five reasons why I hate Twitter:
1. Stability. Those who have been using Twitter long enough will remember those cute kittens with screwdrivers. That was a sign that Twitter was down as they were “doing an upgrade”. We patiently waited for it’s return, so we could get back to the conversations we were having. As Twitter became more popular the kitten became an upside down bird, here’s a video I shot last year about it. Now it’s the Fail Whale. The only thing Twitter has been consistent about is changing it’s down time animal, and well, it’s down time.
2. Management. I’m not looking for love, I have plenty of it from my friends and family. It does irk me a little that @ev and @biz have never bothered to follow me back, or at least recognize some of the things I’ve done proclaiming my love for Twitter. These things include:
All of these things and no recognition from Twitter.
3. Suspended. This is the cherry on the hate pie for me. You can read my recent posts about this, but basically I was wrongly suspected as a spammer and subsequently had my account suspended. Picture having your email service provider suspend you from your email account without warning or explanation. Think of all of your contacts now unavailable to you, consider all of the on-going conversations and not being able to access them again. This is how it felt.
4. Communication. When Twitter recently received 15 Million dollars in additional funding they categorized their service as a “communication utility“. Why then could they not communicate to their users why their accounts had been suspended suddenly without notice? Instead, it appeared as a joke to it’s owner Evan Williams, who was enjoying wine and pie while some of his most loyal users were panicking:

5. Apology. Take my email analogy and consider how you would feel, or as if someone took your personal journal and address book and refused to return them. I felt terrible during this experience. While Jason did apologize to us in his Get Satisfaction post, the apology was coming from the wrong person. This happened to eight of us: @tibbon, @pfanderson, @conniecrosby, @narain, @skalik, @marjarpanic, @abrudtkuhl and I (@davedelaney). Surely it would be easy enough to send us a quick tweet apology Evan?

It’s been a wild weekend for me. I’m still undecided whether I’m going to remain a user on Twitter. I really want to thank everyone who helped this weekend. I found I was getting most of my news on Plurk, which is another micro-blogging service worth checking out. We should also consider identi.ca as a rocking alternative to Twitter, because it’s Open Source and functions very closely to the way Twitter does. You can also follow much of what’s going on on FriendFeed, for some reason I’m just not there loads – yet.
The stability of Twitter hasn’t really improved. Over the last year I have had followers be disconnected from following me for no reason and vice versa. The fail whale is still showing his ugly head too often, as is the Twitter maintenance page. The management clearly don’t know how to communicate, even though they have created an incredible communication service (when it works).
I’m undecided what I’m going to do. I still see a lot of value in Twitter, but it’s flaky stability and lack of customer service make it a service I can no longer fully trust.
Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.



I Hate Twitter

Posted On 10:12 PM by Official 0 comments

I am a young twenty-something practically tethered to the Internet, as most young twenty-somethings are. And, don't get me wrong, the Internet is great. It's fantastic. Seriously, it's just plain wonderful. I can't imagine life without it and the idea that the Internet wasn't actually around at some point in my own lifetime is mind-boggling, to say nothing of the fact that the generations before me somehow grew up without it. (I heard they used some kind of “p-mail.”)
But I hate Twitter. I reserve for Twitter one of the greatest, purest hatreds: not one borne out of anger or emotion, but one borne out of philosophy. I do not hate Twitter in the way that I hate stubbing my toe, or in the way that I hate Tracy Morgan. I hate Twitter in the same way that, say, Copernicus hated geocentrism. I'm not being irrational or hysterical – it is just that Twitter is so thoroughly wrong and so prolifically wrong that its very existence undermines our otherwise rational and mostly progressive society.
Let me first say that I do not hate those who use Twitter. I understand that, for most people, Twitter is just the next iteration of the MySpace/LiveJournal/BullShit social networking superfad that threatens to engulf the planet. I understand that most people use Twitter casually and without malice. I understand that most Twitter users do not believe that they can cause so much damage in 140 characters or less. These people I understand, and I can hate them no more than I can hate the average sixteenth century peasant for believing that the sun revolves around the earth. So don't feel insulted.
I am not the first person to hate on Twitter, and I am sure the reasons are obvious. Twitter is the epitome of the current wave of Web 2.0 content, which can be essentially summarized as the following:
“Everybody cares what I had for lunch today.”
It doesn't matter where you are or what you're eating – if you're connected to the Internet or to a phone (a distinction that will greatly date this essay within six months), you're able to tell dozens if not hundreds of people what you just crammed down your throat. Someone could be stranded in the middle of the Amazon Jungle, surviving off maggots and tiger meat, and they would still find a way to tweet “Blegh! Tiger meat again!” And somehow this would make tiger fighting completely boring.
Of course, at this point many readers will wag their finger and object, “Ah, but my Twitter is better than that. I tweet about interesting things in my life, and [worse yet] I tweet hilarious jokes!” Others might object that many celebrities, writers, and other important figures have interesting Twitters that are worth following. Some others might object that, even if Twitter is nothing more than a boring account of people's day-to-day lives, it's still worth reading.
I could respond to all such comments with a simple and deserved “shut up,” but in the interest of argument I will point out three facts.
One: your Twitter is not interesting or funny, and you are no better than people who tweet about their sandwiches.
Two: I have never read a good or funny Twitter from a celebrity, even if the celebrity is a person I otherwise enjoy.
Three: whatever utility Twitter might have as a small-scale personal diary or communication cloud is negated by Twitter's tendency to clog up with @ replies and other nonsense.
Again, I don't hate Twitter users. I understand where they come from. Blogs proved too involved and unwieldy for the average user. Writing a cogent journal entry is too time-intensive and obviously boring. Twitter, on the other hand, not only allows you to limit yourself to trivial bullshit, but mandates you limit yourself to trivial bullshit. Nobody is worried about standards or being interesting when they only have 140 characters to work with. And when even professional comedians are tweeting about dinner, you don't have to worry about other Twitters making yours look bad.
If I sound angry, I am not. My position on Twitter is one of utmost composure and cool reason. I simply believe it is the worst thing happening in the world right now. I believe that the once great dream of an Internet with honest-to-god content has been lost. If modern web design means that breaking news comes through Twitter in between “Mm, a BLT” and “@tweetfan22 I had macaroni too!” then I want no part in the Internet of tomorrow. Just leave me be and I will return to Web 1.0 and publish through GeoCities.
I hold out some hope, though. I hold out hope that our collective intellects will win out in the end and people will snap out of this tweet-induced siren song. I believe that there is the real potential for there to exist some day an Internet with communities of substantial content and the free flow of ideas expounded on rather than excreted. I believe that, some day, perhaps even the most vigorous tweeters will come to realize just how erosive they are.
Because nobody cares what you had for lunch.


How To Put On A Condom Properly

Posted On 10:07 PM by Official 1 comments




Believe it or not but a lot of people still don't know how to put on a condom properly, especially teenagers who are having sex for the very first time. If you don't know, don't be ashamed about it. I will go over the details so you can gain the needed knowledge to do it right.

How to put on a condom:

1) You need the condom - Feel free to go to your nearest drug store or supermarket and you can purchase it there. You can also go to various clinics and I believe they give them away for free.

2) Take it out of the package - Once you take it out, make sure you check the expiration date to see if it's still good to use (you should be able to check it out on the box before you purchase it) and also make sure it's not already opened in any way.

3) Identify what goes where - You have to make sure you identify which ways go where because say you put it on the erect penis and find out it was rhe wrong way, you do not want to try to quickly flip it the other way. The reason is the fact that the slightest semen could end up on the outside of the condom and could possibly lead to pregnancy.

Before putting on the condom, use your hand/fingers to identify which ends will slide down. Once you figure that part out, you should be able to just slide it on the correct way.

4) Applying the condom - Now that we figured out which ends goes where, you should be able to just slide the condom right on. It should roll out onto the erect penis.

Make sure you pinch the top part so there isn't a air bubble. This could possibly lead to a break in the condom if the air bubble is left that way.

5) Remove the condom - Once you are done, you can simply remove the condom the opposite way you put it on. I would suggest being away from your significant other just incase it leaks at all.

6) Throw the condom away - Don't try to recycle it, it's not that kind of rubber or plastic. And don't try to flush it down the tiolet, it's not good. Just throw it in the trash and you should be all done.

If you need more information or a visual, check out the video below (may not be the best but it gets the point across):


How to Embed Windows Media Player in Blogger Post ?

Posted On 8:27 PM by Official 1 comments

Copy And Paste the Below Code to where ever you want to show the Media Player

Learn how to embed windows media player in blogger post or sidebar. Play your music, songs or video as an embedded source with windows media player. This code will work with all the system having windows media player install on that. This an easy hack and only thing which need to change is the source URL. Find out any source URl Play it with windows media player on your blog or website.

<OBJECT ID="MediaPlayer" WIDTH="300" HEIGHT="300" CLASSID="CLSID:22D6F312-B0F6-11D0-94AB-0080C74C7E95" TYPE="application/x-oleobject">
<embed showstatusbar="1" autostart="1" type="application/x-mplayer2" showtracker="1" src="http:www.official-information.com" showdisplay="1" showcontrols="1" name="MediaPlayer1" height="300" width="300"></embed>
</OBJECT>






Notes :

1. Change autostart="1" to autostart="0" if you dont want wmp automatically play when you load the page.
2. Change www.official-information.com with your media URL

3. You may change height and width of player


State Bank of India Chutia Branch

Posted On 6:30 PM by Official 0 comments


State Bank of India Chutia Branch. This name “Chutia” have a very different meaning in Pakistan. If you google map for Chutia you will find it as a city in Indian Province Assam.


To chutiya or not to chutiya?

Posted On 6:28 PM by Official 0 comments

On a blog I read today there was a reference to a word that starts with a C and has a H and some dashes for missing letters. It is obviously a word of abuse and I sat for a little bit wondering what it was.




While I drank my morning chai and contemplated how to decorate cupcakes for the birthday barbeque today, I had an epiphany and I realised what the word was. Now ofcourse I had to say it or write it. I simply had to. I had to say the word, and roll it around my tongue and maybe even use it in a sentence or two. Have you ever felt the urge? And how satisfying is that!

HAHAHAHAHAHA... my inner writers tourettes syndrome is forcing me to write the word!!!!
CHUTIYA! CHUTIYAS! MANY CHUTIYAS!
There I typed it. Relief!

I find desi verbal abuse so much more colorful and descriptive than the same words in English. Very satisfying to use them in a desi language. In fact when they are in a regional language they are even more satisfying and sound more... you know... naughty and bad boy/bad girl!

A few years ago on the way to work, the Husband and I were getting onto a very crowded subway car on a hot summer day. We were being pushed and shoved by a group of robust sardars probably newly arrived from India. Not wanting to exit/enter in a orderly fashion was a clue as to how newly arrived they were.

I am not sure who threw out a Chutiya first but the Husband matched them word for word with desi abuse words. There was several minutes of stunned silence. I had to laugh. This very proper and waspy looking bespectacled gora dressed in a suit, matching them... desi gaali for desi gaali. The dichotomy was wonderfully delicious!

As we were leaving the subway car, one of the men leaned forward and said to me in a thick punjabi accent... "Behenji app ne unko gaali sikhaya? Bahot accha laga is desh mein gaali sunke" (Sister, did you teach him these words? It felt good to hear these words, so far from home). I was laughing the rest of the day.

Actually I have never taught him anything like that. I guess his trips to India had stood him in good stead. He just absorbed!


To chutiya or not to chutiya?

Posted On 5:51 PM by Official 0 comments

On a blog I read today there was a reference to a word that starts with a C and has a H and some dashes for missing letters. It is obviously a word of abuse and I sat for a little bit wondering what it was.

While I drank my morning chai and contemplated how to decorate cupcakes for the birthday barbeque today, I had an epiphany and I realised what the word was. Now ofcourse I had to say it or write it. I simply had to. I had to say the word, and roll it around my tongue and maybe even use it in a sentence or two. Have you ever felt the urge? And how satisfying is that!

HAHAHAHAHAHA... my inner writers tourettes syndrome is forcing me to write the word!!!!
CHUTIYA! CHUTIYAS! MANY CHUTIYAS!
There I typed it. Relief!

I find desi verbal abuse so much more colorful and descriptive than the same words in English. Very satisfying to use them in a desi language. In fact when they are in a regional language they are even more satisfying and sound more... you know... naughty and bad boy/bad girl!

A few years ago on the way to work, the Husband and I were getting onto a very crowded subway car on a hot summer day. We were being pushed and shoved by a group of robust sardars probably newly arrived from India. Not wanting to exit/enter in a orderly fashion was a clue as to how newly arrived they were.

I am not sure who threw out a Chutiya first but the Husband matched them word for word with desi abuse words. There was several minutes of stunned silence. I had to laugh. This very proper and waspy looking bespectacled gora dressed in a suit, matching them... desi gaali for desi gaali. The dichotomy was wonderfully delicious!

As we were leaving the subway car, one of the men leaned forward and said to me in a thick punjabi accent... "Behenji app ne unko gaali sikhaya? Bahot accha laga is desh mein gaali sunke" (Sister, did you teach him these words? It felt good to hear these words, so far from home). I was laughing the rest of the day.

Actually I have never taught him anything like that. I guess his trips to India had stood him in good stead. He just absorbed!


Free SMS Orkut scraps

Posted On 5:40 PM by Official 0 comments

Orkut has a feature for sending new scrap notifications by SMS. But Orkut SMS is a payed service and its charged as per the tariff rate of customer . Now here is free alternate method to receive Orkut scraps by SMS for free.
.feedEntryLinks
{
margin: 0;
padding: 0;
}
div.feedEntryLinks > hr
{
clear: both;
}
div.feedEntryLinks > h1
{
font-size: 100%;
font-style: italic;
font-weight: normal;
margin: 0;
padding: 0;
}
ul.feedEntryAlternateLinks, ul.feedEntryRelatedLinks, ul.feedEntryViaLinks, ul.feedEntryEnclosureLinks
{
margin: 0.5em 0;
padding: 0;
}
div.feedEntryLinks li
{
margin: 0 1em;
padding: 0;
}
This is based on Google SMS channel which could be used to receive about 50 free SMS scrap book notifications per day . For this , first you have to get the feed URL of your Orkut scrap book . Feed URL for you Orkut profile can be fetched using a service Orkut feed .


Copy your Orkut scrapbook URL(Just click on the scrap book link from home page) and paste it as shown below .Now copy the generated Orkut scrap book feed URL .
Next task is to create an SMS channel for this Orkut scrap feed .
 Go to this page , enter your user name and mobile number . Shortly you will receive a verification code sent to your mobile as SMS . After successful verification ,click on try now button from right side bar.



Give a suitable name and description for your Orkut SMS Channel .
On the bottom portion , click on the radio button for feed . Now add your Orkut scrap feed into the box provided . Save the settings and your done . So next time when your Orkut scrap feed is updated , it will be sent through Google SMS channels to your mobile .This service completely free and without any advertisement.


Social Networking Sucks?

Posted On 5:33 PM by Official 0 comments


When we speak of social networking, what are the few things that come to our minds? Facebook…? MySpace…? Twitter…? Orkut…? I think there is an endless list of such social networking websites. If I start listing them one by one, it will take up all my hosting space. So, do you think social networking is limited to a few neat looking websites who want to know everything I do from the morning until the moment I sleep? What happened to the times when people physically met and socialized? Every new day, a new social app/website is being created.. to do what? To make our already plugged lives more bizarre? So what is this concept of social networking? A fad, trend or just another bandwagon to hop on? I know that networking has its own advantages, but do you think that telling my friends what I ate, what I am reading, or how much I slept will make any difference in their lives? Oh yes, it will certainly make a difference to someone who wants to steal my information.
When I was little, I used to be very shy of making new friends. I used to tell my mom if I wanted to befriend someone in the neighborhood, and then she helped me out. But what now? Anyone can just sit on the computer and add a thousand friends to his already long list of the so-called friends, without even knowing that there can be a stalker, a murderer or even a rapist in that queue. But hey, its all part of the social networking gimmick! Isn’t it? Let me socialize some more and one fine day..oops.. I am dead.

Don’t you think that we are already missing our lives between e-mails, cellphones, blogs, Internet, instant messaging that now we have to resort to these lame social networking websites. Now, we have more ways of getting in touch with each other but we are spending less time in actual communication. Someone comes along every few months and launches a new social networking website. For heaven’s sake, aren’t there too many already? I played around with Cell phones a lot when they first came out. You know what? I like to be unreachable. Gather up your thoughts and send me an e-mail, please.
To actually quote the benefits of such social networking websites, let me describe them to you. I do not have accounts on any social networking websites except Orkut where my intent was to find my old school friends as its a website specially targeted for Indian audience. I did manage to find some of my old school friends but guess what? After a few scrap exchanges and acting surprised (I can’t even say if that surprise was genuine), everything came back to ground zero. To add to my misery, I even thought of calling up one of my “very good” high-school buddies. So, when I called him, he was busy in some very important meeting with his client. He did recognize me, so I expected at least a callback for courtesy sake! But nothing. And this is what I learned from this incident – Life goes on and I am a fool! Now, I am even planning to delete that account which I hold on Orkut. I’ve never felt anything missing in my life without these social networking websites. Then again, I’m a person who likes privacy and it seems, these days, I am greatly outnumbered.
A new trend that is developing nowadays with every social website copying each other, is the use of applications. So, what are these applications? Stupid flash games, countdown timers, IQ tests, chat applications… No thanks! I guess I will just watch the grass grow in my lawn or maybe look at a wall all day. To my amusement, I recently found out that people are making a lot of money developing and selling these retarded applications. So why don’t you give it a try? Maybe this is your path to the hall of rich jerks!
You think this is a rant on social networking websites? You are right. It is. I have even made a new category in my blog called “rants” :)
Update : While constructing the picture for this particular post, I went to Myspace.com website to steal their logo and what do I see? They have a corny header graphic on their homepage that says :- Sign-up just got shorter! See for yourself, how desperate they have become (do they have any members left anymore?? And.. what is that white splash.. LOL) :-


Why Yahoo Sucks - Remember "asl plz" era

Posted On 5:30 PM by Official 0 comments

I have been using Yahoo for a long long time. In fact, yahoo was the first website I came to know of back in school days when I hardly understood what a web site was. Then I got an email-id on yahoo. sidscrazy@yahoo.co.in Now it has been doomed to work as the junkyard for orkut and facebook posts. I hardly use it anymore. Still I had a fascination for yahoo.
It reminded me of the first few years in college when we had this ultra kewl yahoo group chat. "asl plz" still might hit the memory cells in a lot of minds. We used to enter in yahoo chat rooms and look for names which might give hints of being a girl. Like someone named "neha_19_delhi" can be safely be considered to be a girl named Neha, aged 19 and from Delhi. This way there were around 50-100 chat room. There were classification of the chat rooms based on region, interests, technology, society et al. On the right side were the names of all the people online in that chat room. On the left pane which covered 80% of the screen, was a common window. Anyone could writesomething and post in this common chat window. Sometimes there were groups of people from pakistan bad mouthing India in these common chat windows. We would enter such chat groups in bulk and write all possible abuses for Pakistan. It was fun. A favourite timepass. And you could also ping someone on the list on right side for a personal chat. And it would invariably start with "asl plz", meaning age, sex and location please. This was the primary determining factor based on which I would decide whether I want to chat with that person or not.
All in all it was fascinating.

Since first year, my association with yahoo has been only my second email-idc sid_svnit@yahoo.co.in. I had this as my primary email account. my railway reservation, Hutch bill, some programming forums, ICICI bank account, all details come up here. Most important of all, this account is registered to our college group comps_svnit_2k6 whose mails I love to read, howsoever useless it may be. Yahoo messenger simply vanised from the scene as the requirement moved from chat rooms to networking site: orkut taking the place very nicely. As chatting and e-mail were important still, I took a google account. The google account was(still is) very nice.

Here I will try to give a comparative details on what things in yahoo piss me off as a naive user of e-mail:
- Very frequent change in the website/UI
The gmail login page has remained same since probably the first exe of gmail.com was created. No change. I am so much practiced to it that I know how many tabs I need to press before my cursor moved to the login page. On the other hand mail.yahoo.com changes like it is the college project of some sophomores. Do these yahoo people not understand the basic concept of innovation in UI: it has to be subtle and NEVER NEVER change the entry point of the UI for the end user. NEVER.

- Failing to copy gmail in integrating yahoo messenger to yahoo mail. When I login into gmail, along with my mails, my chat window opens up in the left side. Again this is very good innovation. The entry point of the UI is not changed and I notice no major change in the UI and hurrah!! there is a chat window. Not only that, it is integrated to my orkut account. So I can chat with my friends on orkut directly from gmail. I feel pity for yahoo in this regard. Today after a long time I wanted to come on yahoo chat. I thought let me use the yahoo mail option. I saw that after logging into the yahoo mail, the chat is simply not able to start. And I am using what might be one of the fastest bandwidth in India. I tried multiple tmies, but no use.
Still I thought that may be there is some folder in yahoo account where my offline messages are getting stored. Didnt find one.

- When I log-in into gmail, I can see all my mails. All which are visible on the front page. One window.
When I login into yahoo mail, probably people at yahoo think that I have logged in to see their silly ads. What they have for me is 15% of the window on the right for bright ads. On a slow machine, a click by mistake on that window and the browser will almost hang as the ads will be for some second grade sites which dont open in less than 5 seconds.
on the left 15% is the folders for my yahoo. That is ok (ok that is good not just ok). The in the centre is my mails. Here 70% of the horizontal space is eaten up by unnecessary things. top 20% by blank space. Bottom 50% by just one line

"Got your eye on one of those emails up there?
Just click on an email to view it down here in this handy reading pane."

And this is not in big font, it is in small font taking only one line. The remaining space is blank.

- I had registered my gmail account for many job sites while I was searching the job for my brother. One by one I started marking them as spam. And it has worked like wonders. At one point I had thought that I will never be able to use my gmail account for anything productive. But now, I use it as all the mails I marked and from same senders (and probably more based on the spam logic) go straight to the spam folder.
Yahoo just fools the end user here. There are many mails I mark as spam. It moves the mails to the spam folder. But it doesnt implement the simplest rule of spam filter that at least from the same sender, all other mails should go to spam folder. I keep getting mails from same senders again and again. Hats off to the coders of Yahoo (where art thou feet??).

- After not being able to read my offline messages, I decided to installl yahoo messenger. Thankfully they have not changed the login page much. But it doesn't log-in. I saw that there is a "connection preferences" options. Tried all possible combinations. No luck!!
Then disabled my firewall. No luck!!
Then installed a new OS, disabled firewall, made sure there was no AV running, and installed YM there. Still no luck with log-in.

No wonder Yahoo declined to be bought for 33$ a share and went to 16$ or so in 6 months. With software brains this good,, what else can be expected from the managers there. Will someone believe that in 2000, its stock had touched $118.75 a share!!!

I tried digging into the downfall of yahoo. Started with the nice wiki link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yahoo .
Will collect and post it later... stay tuned.

(ps: Views are personal)


orkut Mobile

Posted On 5:27 PM by Official 0 comments

orkut, Google's social network, added a lot of features in the past year to be more competitive and to become more popular outside Brazil and India. Google Trends shows that the interest for orkut is declining, but it's likely that some people no longer search for "orkut" since Google India and Google Brazil added the service to the navigational bar in December 2007. orkut has around 120 million users, up from 50 million users in April 2007, but Brazil (53.99% of orkut users) and India (16.91%) continue to be the countries where orkut is popular, followed by the US (15.13%).

orkut was one of the few Google services that didn't have a mobile interface, but now you can access orkut mobile at m.orkut.com. The simplified interface shows the most recent scraps, updates from your friends, a link to your profile and a search box for orkut users. The mobile interface lets you write scraps, get birthday reminders and respond to friend requests. You can also use shortcuts to access the most important sections of the page.

There's also a new version of orkut for low bandwidth that displays less pictures. orkut will automatically switch to this new version depending on your connection, but you can opt to use it in the settings.


Not so thrilled with Orkut, Orkut sucks! Today itself I decided I’d never log in into my Orkut account again in remaining life. It’s very addictive, and sucks away my whole day. Every now and then I used to type those shitty five words on a browser O—R–K—U—T, to check if someone desirable just scrapped in. Moreover, there’s nothing caled privacy. You have to think twice before getting intimate with people you want to (read GIRLS), without inviting unwanted attention from all sorts of people (some happen to be your irritating friends). One thing that really pisses me is the unruly nature of Orkut users. Those having 500-600 FRIENDS (I had only 80 until yesterday, and it was so difficult to manage). All that repeated “How are you?” (”I was about to DIE!!! Leave me alone for God’s sake”). “What are you doing”? (”Why the fuck should I tell you?”) “What’s latest?” (”Just because you have nothing to do, I work in a prestigious company, I like to stay busy in my job, and be happy with that. I don’t PRETEND to have doing LATEST things every now and then.”) Also, there are users who are involved in 100+ communities. Gimme a break, all those social kind, I like to spend time with myself alone when it suits me. Trust me guys, ORKUT is a community of all kinds of losers. The more you let them eat your brains, the more you sink beneath. Wake up, and get back to good ol’ emails, and instant messaging. Get Skype, make international calls. Even mobile phones cost just 7.2 rupees to call in US and Europe. Better still, make personal visits. Just ignore this fucking medium. BYE BYE Orkut.

Posted On 5:24 PM by Official 0 comments

Today itself I decided I’d never log in into my Orkut account again in remaining life. It’s very addictive, and sucks away my whole day. Every now and then I used to type those shitty five words on a browser O—R–K—U—T, to check if someone desirable just scrapped in. Moreover, there’s nothing caled privacy. You have to think twice before getting intimate with people you want to (read GIRLS), without inviting unwanted attention from all sorts of people (some happen to be your irritating friends). One thing that really pisses me is the unruly nature of Orkut users. Those having 500-600 FRIENDS (I had only 80 until yesterday, and it was so difficult to manage). All that repeated “How are you?” (”I was about to DIE!!! Leave me alone for God’s sake”). “What are you doing”? (”Why the fuck should I tell you?”) “What’s latest?” (”Just because you have nothing to do, I work in a prestigious company, I like to stay busy in my job, and be happy with that. I don’t PRETEND to have doing LATEST things every now and then.”) Also, there are users who are involved in 100+ communities. Gimme a break, all those social kind, I like to spend time with myself alone when it suits me. Trust me guys, ORKUT is a community of all kinds of losers. The more you let them eat your brains, the more you sink beneath. Wake up, and get back to good ol’ emails, and instant messaging. Get Skype, make international calls. Even mobile phones cost just 7.2 rupees to call in US and Europe. Better still, make personal visits. Just ignore this fucking medium. BYE BYE Orkut.


This is why omegle sucks

Posted On 5:21 PM by Official 1 comments

One of our Member's conversation:

You: Hullo
Stranger: hullo yourself :D
You: How is your life going, luv?
You: Oy, is this computer machine broken?
Stranger: whats the matter with you? :p
You: Wot? I don't understand your question.
Stranger: me neither. :p
You: Then why ask it?
Stranger: because im stupid :)
You: Oy, now don't go round sayin' that!
Stranger: okay. im really sorry :(
You: Don't call yourself stupid, luv.
Stranger: okay then
Stranger: im smart
You: So luv, what... gender? I think that's what humans call it. What gender are you?
Stranger: haha. I am a girl, and u?
You: Oh well... I think by your standards, I'd be a male but I'd classify myself as a Time Lord.
Stranger: oh really? :p
You: Yes. Are you... familiar with my race?
Stranger: why? are you a vampire? :p
You: Vampires don't exist. Well, plamsavores do and they are similar to you humans silly vampire.
You: I mean, who has ever heard of a vampire SPARKLING?
Stranger: I LOVE TWILIGHT!!!!! :D
You: ... Oh dear, I think I've lost her.
Stranger: love
Stranger: love
Stranger: love
You: I'm sorry. I am so sorry .
Stranger: love
Stranger: LOVE IIIITTTTTT
Stranger: why? :p
You: Because Twilight is actually an infectious virus.
You: You'll be dead in about a week
Stranger: I know . You get obsessed!!
Stranger: Nooo!
You: The obsession you're feeling is actually tiny parasites eating away at your tiny brain.
You: ONly stupid people get infected ofr obvious reasons
Stranger: actually my brain is bigger than yours. I think of love and piece. When boys only think of WAAAR!!!!!!!!!!!
Stranger: HHAHAHAHAH
You: It's spelled "peace." And as a Time Lord, I'm against war
Stranger: whatever geek
Stranger: :D
You: And how old are you?
Stranger: im 16, u?
You: I'm a 900-year-old Time Lord. I think I win.
Stranger: yea right :D
Stranger: do you have any friends, geek? :)
You: Wow, nice comeback from the teeny-bopper Twilight-lover with a parasite eating her almost non-existent brain.
You: I'm 900 years old. Of course I have friends.
You: You do realized Edward Cullen is an abusive pedophile?
Stranger: okay. has he fucked you though?
Stranger: time lord is another word for gay lortd :D
Stranger: lord*
You: He can't "fuck" anything. In order to get an erection, he'd have to have blood but vampires don't.
Stranger: God, you're wierd?
You: Not only that, but his blood was replaced by a poisonous venom, according to SMeyer, so that would have killed Bella as soon as she came into contact with that.
You: Not weird, just smart and sensible.
Stranger: okay geek. bye?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


I do believe Time lord > Twitward :D


Congratulations Omegle, you beat us to it.

Posted On 5:19 PM by Official 0 comments

Over the past couple of months or so, me and a friend were working on an idea, and we kept the details of the same mostly to ourselves. It was called “Connr”, a shortened version of “connector”. (Update – we’re using the name for soemthign else now.)
The whole idea was to connect a visitor to another random visitor and let them speak. It was a good idea, and there wasn’t really anybody else who had an idea like this. We were planning to launch early next month on an amazon EC2 server.
Today, I found out about “Omegle“, a service that does exactly what ours does. It received coverage from many major weblogs, including XKCD’s, thus making our product completely redundant even if we do decide to launch it. While our product was more impressive on the backend, and we already figured out how to solve some of the problems that they are facing, they were first – and in this industry that’s all that counts.
While we are terribly disheartened by our idea not making it into the big league, we learnt a lot, and we’re glad that an independent student like us, rather than a faceless corporation got in on this idea.
I would like to wish Leif Brooks, creator of Omegle the best of luck for a successful application.


What the hell is this omegle?

Posted On 5:17 PM by Official 0 comments



A new website has popped up on the Internet that I stumbled upon called Omegle. The idea is simple yet cool at the same time. When connected to the site you are randomly matched with another individual and placed in a chat room. What happens here is up to you and of course you are dealing with the Internet.
The idea was created by Leif K-Brooks and was first launched on March 25th. Playing around with it I encountered a cross section of the Internet, a little weird but in some cases some pretty cool conversations. Your results may vary but the popularity of the site has only grown.
Around 1800 people are now connected and chatting and I can’t help but thinking that the website is bringing us all a bit closer together… virtually that is. Is this what the whole “Web 2.0″ phenomenon was about? I’m not quite sure but it’s pretty damn cool either way.
Leif says he wants to see meaningful discussions and not just trolls and spam and will be looking for a way to crack down on such activity. I wish him well as I continue to explore the far reaches of the Internet and Omengle is taking me one step closer.
Source: Omegle


The New York Times recently highlighted new chat site Omegle.com in their Technology section. It’s a site we’ve been watching since it first hit the scene in March 2009. Their premise is simple: Click “Start a chat” and you’re immediately connected with a completely random person.
No logins. No terms & conditions. No warnings. Just sink or swim. The living embodiment of Mama Gump’s take on life: It’s a box of chocolates and you don’t know what you’re gonna get.
In the month or so I’ve been using Omegle I’ve spoken to an unlucky-in-love teenager in Ohio, been invited to couchsurf at an apartment in Bergen, Norway, been the guest on a “talk show” hosted by “Oprah Ricardo”, and had a variety of chats that have lasted from ten seconds to half an hour.
And I just can’t stop. Maybe it’s the thrill of the unknown, but I’m hooked, and I’m not alone. Here are a few recent Twitter remarks about Omegle:
anc__: omegle.com is the strangest site i’ve ever been to…….ever…….
Addie_Lou: CANNOT STOP OMEGLE
jaywinsthegame: god, omegle is so much effing fun.
googlygoogly: talking to some girl on omegle from north korea? is that even possible?
skankage: FUN as HELL! RT @tonylittle Oh god. Omegle.com is fantastic. You can talk to random people anonymously and make a damn fool of yourself.
Being so young, the the site’s normal stats don’t show us a lot, but there’s still evidence that Omegle is touching a nerve in significant ways (all counts are as of May 11, 2009):
  • Post to Omegle.com founder Leif K-Brooks’s March 30 official Omegle blog has received 381 comments
  • Mention of Omegle on XKCD’s Blag [sic] has received 592 comments, mostly reposts of actual Omegle conversations.
  • Gawker post has 34,552 views.
It was enough press to make me take notice. There is enough promise to Omegle’s “Talk to a stranger” proposition to suggest that Omegle can become a relevant and profitable web property. But it will need to take a slow, methodical approach in growth and never deviate from the core promise of the site: At any moment, you can chat with a random stranger. This core value should never be compromised at the expense of further channel development.

What’s old is new again

Omegle is scoring big points and drawing modest crowds via organic growth. Positive mentions on trusted media are the primary drivers of traffic on the mainstream web. Visits are being driven by a curiosity factor – curiosity in a technology that is not much more than AOL’s People Connection circa 1994 (for you kids, that’s AIM before AIM was AIM, and you had to use a phone line). Instead of touting some newfangled communication platform here (such as, say, microblogging), Omegle has stripped away the technology and laid the web prostrate before us in its most raw form and in a refreshing way.



Your friends aren’t really your friends

Omegle’s continued growth will come from building a community of enthusiastic users touting the medium, like any successful social media site. We’ve come so far with social networking and media sites that Omegle’s retro charm is very inviting. I rarely use the chat feature of Facebook because the not-so-sad reality is that many of my “friends” aren’t really my friends anymore or never were; and this does not reflect poorly on them, or me, at all. Growth, time, and geography spin us apart. Omegle has touched upon an urgent need for the Web Generation to meet new people and be themselves in a pseudo-social way.
Omegle will see its greatest growth through word of mouth, predominantly on message boards and social media. Fortunately again, Omegle has emerged and entered its experimentation phase at a time when social networks are at a penetration peak. It could be a fairly quick experimentation phase for Omegle.com if its early adopters tout the channel. However, the hard work lies ahead when it enters what promises to be a long gestation and a struggle for adoption with a platform that is hardly new.

Encouraging adoption

Omegle’s initial charm will, rather ironically, lead to its stagnation as many users hit a What Now moment earlier than for most other social media. Answering that question and making some necessary changes to the channel will help encourage Omegle growth. Changes should include community moderation and user ratings of good conversations. I’ll expand on these ideas in a future post. Until then, I’d keep an eye on the growth of Omegle.

Takeaway Message

I recommend trying Omegle. I think there’s potential here for viral marketing opportunities. Explore giving away a product to a willing participant. Invite them to contact you after the chat and send them your product with the understanding that they’ll give you some feedback. See what happens. Omegle is clearly something you shouldn’t spend a lot of time on, but it’s worth experimenting. Creating great content on a platform that encourages one-to-one communication is hard to justify from an ROI perspective, but you never know.

My Question to You

What do you think of Omegle? Any ideas on how you can create compelling content for an individual that entices them to share their experience with your brand or your product? Let me know if you have any early successes!

 


Omegle Website Review

Posted On 5:07 PM by Official 0 comments

What Parents Need to Know

 This chat site’s catchphrase, "Talk to strangers!", says it all. Though created by an 18-year-old, Omegle is not for kids. The site puts two strangers together in a chat room. Though chats start out anonymous, users often ask for and share personal information. Language is uncensored and sexual come-ons and requests for email addresses are common. Omegle can be fun when both users desire a real conversation. It might be worth the effort for older teens willing to sift through the trash talk. But younger kids, especially girls, should steer clear.

Is It Any Good?

Omegle takes anonymous two-person chat to the next, satirical level with its tongue-in-cheek "Talk to strangers!" slogan and “You” and “Stranger” chat handles. The interface is barebones, but the 'tude makes it a hipper choice some other chat sites. There are even iPhone and iPod versions for "strangers on the go." Meeting a (possibly beautiful) stranger online gives anonymous chat sites like Omegle an element of danger and excitement that most kids crave.  Teen creator Leif K-Brooks describes it simply as a place to "make new friends," and we did chat with some nice kids. But it's also a fertile hunting ground for sexual predators who can take advantage of the anonymity. K-Brooks says he's working to make the site safer. Until then we don't recommend it for kids younger than 17.


How Omegle Doesn’t Work -or- Signs that it may be time to examine your life…

Posted On 5:03 PM by Official 0 comments

Not by what he said, or by the fact that Omegle exists, but by the fact that anyone would use it. Here’s the description given of Omegle:
What is Omegle? It’s a chat room that pairs you randomly with someone else. Both chatters are anonymous, identified only by the handle “Stranger.” You can chat about anything you like. You can share data or talk about the weather. You can make a new friend or frustrate a stranger until he or she chooses to disconnect from the conversation. It’s pretty much a free-for-all.
I’m stunned by Omegle in the same way that I am stunned when I read that tens of millions of people are paying to play World of Warcraft, and that the average WoW player is wasting 22 hours per week on the game.
Why am I stunned? Have you ever heard an advice columnist talk to someone who is totally strung out on drugs, or completely involved in a gambling addiction? The columnist might say, “hey, if you have spent so much money on your habit that you can’t pay the rent and you’ve been evicted, that’s a warning sign that you may want to seek help.” In the same way, if you find that you are spending 20 hours a week on WoW, or that you think that random anonymous conversations with strangers in Omegle is a good idea, then it might be time to take stock of your life.

If you are in the kind of place where Omegle is sounding appealing, Just Say No to Omegle! Here are some options to consider:
1) Instead of talking to random strangers in Omegle, what about talking to the real people around you? For example, introducing yourself and meeting your neighbors, colleagues at work, or even folks down at the local bar?
2) How about reconnecting with real people already in your life, like friends and family? Surely they have something to talk about.
3) What about setting a goal and trying to accomplish something interesting? For example, setting a goal of making a million dollars, running a marathon, buying a house, or creating a new world record?
4) Or what about volunteering? You can meet lots of folks and help other people in the process. You can join a political campaign, work at the animal shelter, become a Big Brother or Big Sister, help the homeless, join an environmental group, build with Habitat for Humanity, etc.
5) Could you take a class in something that really interests you at a local community college or university?
6) What about joining a club? A hiking club, a robot club, a club for people flying RC planes or huge stratospheric model rockets, a car club, a bike club, or whatever interests you?
7) What about art? Make any kind of art and then display it. Painting, sculpture, photography, kinetic art, folk art, poetry, pottery, mobiles….
8 ) Or a DIY project?
9) What about Karate or some other martial art? That would let you protect yourself if you ever find yourself in a bad place.
10) Can you rebuild an old house, an old car, an antique dresser, an old computer or something else?
11) What about adopting a kid? Believe me, kids will totally change your life…
12) Or, if you really do want to talk anonymously to strangers on the Internet, what about finding an online forum where people are talking about something useful (not WoW!) that interests you? There are millions of forums on the Internet and many of them are populated with folks who know tons about the given topic. Ask them questions. Learn by reading other posts. You might be surprised by what you discover. Then go apply your new skills with real people in the real world.
In other words, if you are thinking about trying Omegle, there has GOT to be something better out there for you to try. Let Omegle or WoW be an indicator that you are reaching bottom. Think about it before you type that URL.
This public service announcement brought to you by the Council Against Internet Addiction.


4 New Funny Omegle Convos | Funniest Omegle Logs

Posted On 4:56 PM by Official 0 comments


It’s a simple site that just connects you to a random person, anonymously, for a conversation.
It feels like that scene in Fight Club where the narrator sits down next to Tyler on the plane.  Two strangers meeting, laying out their personality and sizing each other up in just a few words, with no expectations, and — thanks to anonymity — no consequences.
Except in this case, a lot of the time Tyler just screams “COCKS”, punches the narrator, and jumps out of the window.
Still, it’s fun!

connecting to server…
you’re now chatting with a random stranger. say hi!
stranger: greetings you delicious stranger
you: thanks
stranger: that wasn’t a compliment
you: i know
stranger: how was your day?
stranger: did you meet tim at the mall?
you: yeah
stranger: that guy is such a douche
stranger: don’t you think?
you: yeah i think so too
stranger: i know you are a spambot
stranger: bye forever

connecting to server…

stranger: hi
stranger: a/s/l
you: tell me a story
stranger: once upon a time
stranger: there was a stranger
stranger: he said
stranger: f_ck you

connecting to server…
looking for someone you can chat with. hang on.
you’re now chatting with a random stranger. say hi!
you: you walk into a room and see a flash what do you do?
stranger: turn around and walk out
you: cowardice.
you: you lost the game.

connecting to server…
looking for someone you can chat with. hang on.
you’re now chatting with a random stranger. say hi!
stranger: hi
you: you walk into a room and see a flash what do you do?
stranger: smile
you: unable to see anything, you smiled. someone suddenly thrust something like a microphone in your hands, then walked back into the room. what you do?
stranger: speak
you: you spoke.
you: as the flash thins off, you notice several beaten down and a few dead people in the room, and a staircase going down.
you: you look at your hand and see a small blunt weapon covered in blood.
you: you started to hear police sirens. what you do?
stranger: run
you: you started running. two police officers saw you. they drew their guns and started shooting. what you do?
stranger: ninja
you: you try to ninja your way out. a bullet pierced through your forehead. h_adshot, b_tch.
you: you lost the game.
stranger: lawl

Thanks M. Tekin for the logs


Best Random Conversation Contest!

Posted On 4:51 PM by Official 0 comments

Culture Buzz New contest! Have a random conversation with a stranger on Omegle, then post a screenshot of the result as your entry. Funny conversations get gold stars and featured on the front page, so late entries will still have a good chance of winning. The funniest conversation posted by Monday night is the winner!


Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: You are alone in a dark passage. It leads off to the east and west.
Stranger: I steal the mailbox
Stranger: wait
Stranger: crap
Stranger: ok
Stranger: ok
Stranger: look
You: There is no mailbox here
Stranger: w
You: you go west, and fall
You: youre still falling
You: you look down, and don't even see a floor
Stranger: equip parachute
You: You suddenly fall much slower
Stranger: equip umbrella
Stranger: cast soul of mary poppins
You: after about an hour of this you finally reach a floor
You: There is a door here, reinforced by steel, the engraving reads, Main Rotator.
Stranger: open door
You: The door is welded shut.
Stranger: equip BFG 9000
You: You blast a HUGE FUCKING HOLE in the door.
You: There is a long corridor.
Stranger: yodel
You: Your yodel echoes around the wall, but then you hear another voice echoing, "Hello?"
You: A man materializes out of thin air.
You: He is wearing a blue cape, he is slightly dark skinned and carrying a large staff.
Stranger: ask man if he would like to trade lunches as your mom packed you tuna "because it's good for you"
You: He says, "Welcome, adventurer, to the center of the Earth!"
You: He says, "No way man, tuna is horrible, but you can have my go gurt for free"
Stranger: take gogurt
You: You feel very powerfull.
Stranger: replace gogurt with tuna to play a trick on someone later
You: You feel weak again.
Stranger: it's okay cause i have a bfg 90000
Stranger: 9000*
You: He says, "You want to play some dungeons and dragons, a couple of my friends are coming and you can observe"
Stranger: ask why the immense gravitational forces at the center of the earth have not destroyed us yet
You: "I have the whole area enclosed in a bubble of pressure, if you push that button over there, the bubble will burst and we will all die"
Stranger: do not push button as that will prevent you from tricking someone by giving them a gogurt wrapper filled with tuna
Stranger: accept his invitation to play dnd
You: About 30 minutes later, you sit at a table with a bunch of pudgy guys in their mid thirties. The dungeon master says,
"This is a serious playthrough", "I expect total roleplaying, and no funny business"
Stranger: ask dm if he wants some gogurt
You: DM says, "My grandma wont app- AHH fuck it! Hand it over, here have my mjolnir's hammer!"
Stranger: trade tuna gogurt for mjolnir's hammer
You: You hear a thundering voice, "Use it well, my child"
You: The DM grimaces in disgust. "Dude...."
You: Suddenly, you hear a crash in the back ground, a rebel soldier bursts into the room and says, "Battle stations everyone! The storm troopers have boarded the ship!"
You: The trooper hands you a lazer pistol and rebel outfit.
Stranger: Give a confused look at the trooper since he just completely missed your BFG 9000 but accept his laser pistol anyway. check pockets of rebel outfit.
You: The storm trooper looks right through you. You find a lightsaber and a portal gun.
Stranger: check color of lightsaber
You: You also find a note that says, "Eddies in the space time continuum"
Stranger: wonder how many different universes this story will end up referencing
You: Lightsaber is green.
You: You wonder aimlessly...
You: The storm trooper slaps you, come with me!
Stranger: go with storm trooper
You: He leads you to a computer terminal, and says, before you can fight, you must sign up for our newsletter. You can also follow the rebel forces on twitter.
You: There is another tab open in the browser, it says, "www.getmeouttahere!!!!!!!!.com"
Stranger: check facebook instead
You: You check your facebook account, you have 3 friend requests, the guy that used to beat you up in high school, the ugly nerd that had a crush on you, and one of your forgotten childhood friends.
Stranger: friend them and spend the next few hours stalking their photos and reading their notes
You: You see that the ugly nerd has a whole web page as a tribute to you, the guy that beat you up is contemplating suicide, and your forgotten friend is exactly the same as he used to be.
You: You hear shooting and cursing of darth vader in the background.
Stranger: google nerd's name to see if she's rich
You: She is middle class.
Stranger: aww
You: It looks like she is sitting on a pretty nice timeshare though.
Stranger: check if station is about to explode
Stranger: do all monitors say danger or are all lights flashing red for example
You: 50% of the monitors say danger, the other half are showing a blue screen of death.
You: There is an escape pod to the west.
Stranger: steal an expensive but takeable looking piece of machinery and head for escape pod
You: you drop down and enter a twenty minute long sequence of random colors in your scree- I mean view.
You: You drop into a world where something seems wrong.
You: There are humans all running towards you, it seems they are running away from something...
You: You hear primordial yelling, they sound like.....apes?
Stranger: Does one of the humans wear a giant green suit of armor and talk to a purple lady coming out of his suit?
Stranger: ok good
You: You hear a voice in your head, "The narrator would never take you there, EVER!"
You: Suddenly the shrieks stop...
Stranger: find ape city
You: You find the ape city after years of searching, you are seen and taken in as a slave.
You: The apes torture you and treat you like crap.
You: One night, you hear many thumping sounds.
Stranger: use advanced technology to make apes think i am god
You: silly human, there is only one ape god.
Stranger: kill ape god
You: One night, you hear a thumping sound.
You: It sounds like....a crowbar.
You: Suddenly you see a man coming out of the darkness.
You: He is wearing a hazardous environment containment suit, and holding a crowbar in his right hand.
You: He says,"I am god".
You: You cannot help but to say, "I'm comming with you, Dr. Freeman!"
Stranger: set a portal in ape city with portal gun so that you could come and take over it later
You: Where does the portal lead to?
Stranger: nowhere yet, you only set one silly
You: Oh, sorry.
Stranger: forgive narrator
You: You set the portal, and no one seems to care.
You: no one in your cell that is.
Stranger: follow gordon freeman back to black mesa
Stranger: try to pick up on all the hidden g-men in various tv screens
You: You go with gordon freeman, It takes a while, but you finally get there. You arrive in the ruins of black mesa, it has been deserted for years.
You: You see the g-MAN, but he is never at a reachable place.
Stranger: ask gordon freeman if he would set you up with alyx.
You: Hes like, "Dude I've been trying to tap dat for years, the bitch is as uptight as my mother!"
You: "Alright, you can have her number"
Stranger: take number. also find and domesticate a headcrab
You: You find one, you decide to name it Lamar.
You: In your attemps to domestincate your headcrab, your portal gun slips, and a portal was created.
Stranger: unleash headcrab at apes
You: Lamar has no teeth, she fruitlessly sucks on the apes heads.
Stranger: go north
You: You enter a very dark room, there is a pudgy man playing world of warcraft.
Stranger: alright I gotta go. This was more fun than most omegle conversations kthxbai!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Guest Blog Post: Distributor vs. Wholesaler--Getting Your Book on the Shelf

Posted On 4:45 PM by Official 0 comments

Happy New Year, everyone!

To kick things off for 2010, we have a great guest blog post from multi-published author Cathy Clamp.

The distinction between a wholesaler and a distributor is an important one, especially for writers who want to get their books onto physical bookstore shelves. Too often, however, writers and startup publishers aren't aware of the difference, and don't realize that a wholesaler like Ingram is only half the distribution picture. Below, Cathy describes what distributors and wholesalers do, and the implications of each for writers (and publishers).

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On nearly every thread in all the rooms of nearly every writer site I visit, the issue of the difference between Distributors and Wholesalers comes up. It seems to me like it's time to discuss the distinction when it comes to getting your books on the shelf.

And I mean all books, because ultimately, it doesn't matter whether your book is self-published, or with a major New York publisher, a small indie press, or even PublishAmerica. It's all the same at this level of the game.

Let's start with major NY publishers. They have a sales force. The sales department is charged with doing nothing but selling books for the publisher. Sales reps meet regularly with the buyers for the major chains and secondary markets. You might have one salesperson who handles Borders and B&N, another who meets with Target and WalMart, a third who handles Booksamillion and Costco, etc. They take the books of the publisher directly to the buyers who handle them.

Every book needs a salesperson to get it into the store. Yes, book buyers are looking for new books--but there is only so much space in each bookstore. So they have to be selective.

But even if every book needs, and deserves, a salesperson--let's face it, a small press or self-publisher often can't afford to have a full time salesperson, much less a sales "force," to go out to meet with every book buyer for every chain. Too, it's unlikely (if not impossible) that the buyer would be willing to meet with every single small press out there. There are just too many of them.

So, a lot of small publishers hire "Distributors." A distributor takes the place of a sales force by doing the exact same thing a dedicated, salaried salesperson would do. And for the same reason. They're salaried.

Distributors cost money. A lot of money. Plan on about a third of your retail price to pay the distributor. It's a monthly/quarterly contract for the privilege of putting your books in front of the market, selling them to the buyers at the stores and increasing orders for the books. Is it worth the money? Hard to say. If you're an indie press with thirty niche books that might struggle to interest a bookstore without a marketing pitch, then sure. Absolutely. But for a single, stand-alone novel? Doubtful. In fact, it's doubtful a distributor would have a self-pubbed author or small press. It has to be worth the distributor's while, too. Generally speaking, if a press has fewer than ten titles, a distributor won't accept it as a client.

Now, if a publisher (again, whether small press or self-pub) chooses not to spend the money for a distributor, they go with the wholesalers. To make the difference simple, look at it like this:

- A distributor is the equivalent of a pack-n-ship store.
- A wholesaler is the equivalent of your local postal office.

What's the difference?

Well, if you walk in the door of a pack-n-ship store with a glass lamp to send somewhere, you hand them the lamp and they bubble wrap it, put it in a box, fill the box with those styrofoam peanuts or the equivalent, tape it up, calculate the shipping cost, print out the label, put the label on the box and place it with the other boxes for delivery. They will also accept the box back if anything goes wrong in shipping, and many of them will arrange to file your claim if the box is damaged.

The postal office? Will they wrap it? No. Put it in the box? No. Fill the box? No. Print out the label? No. Tape it? Maybe, depending on the office. Calculate the shipping cost? Sure. Put it with the other boxes? Sure.

In other words--a distributor is a "full-service" shipping company. You can pay them to sell the book, take the orders, fill the orders, handle the returns, manage any disputes with the bookstores, etc. They're proactive--taking on the role of the salesperson as though they were a paid employee.

A wholesaler is the post office. They'll keep the book on their list and send it out if it's ordered. They're reactive--taking on no role other than as a pass-through.

Now, one of the tricky things in this industry is that one of the major players, Ingram, is both a distributor and wholesaler. They have separate arms to handle each. But, per the descriptions above, there's a vast difference on what they do if you pay them to be your distributor, versus merely having a listing with them in their wholesale catalog.

Unfortunately, a lot of small presses and POD self-publishing companies try to make you believe they have the distributor relationship when, in fact, they have the wholesale relationship. Since Ingram won't reveal its client list, it's hard to know which is which. However, I believe that right now, Ingram requires that a publisher that's a distribution client must have about $20K+ of income from Ingram in order to qualify. If you think logically, would even PublishAmerica, the powerhouse of POD presses, qualify? Probably not. PA has the titles, but not the sales. PA, and hundreds of other POD-based presses with far fewer titles than PA, would never be accepted as a distribution client. Simply wouldn't happen. They are with the wholesale arm--i.e., they're listed in the Ingram catalog.

But what does that actually mean? Have you ever seen a Columbia House catalog in the mail? It's pages and pages long with titles of movies, and they rotate the titles by season or when a major star has a new movie out. Now, imagine the Columbia House list if they only listed the titles of the movies--with no description of the movie. You might have heard of some, but what about the others? How would you know which to order? Word of mouth? Sure. That always works. Or someone in your family specifically requesting it by name.

That's what the Ingram catalog is. Hundreds and hundreds of pages of titles with ISBN/ISBN-13, author and that's about it. Is it impossible for your book to get onto a shelf that way? No. It's not like winning the mega-lottery--it's closer to winning a small prize in the Pick-Three lottery game, or a prize on a scratch ticket. It happens. But it's not the same as if you had someone going from door to door, talking your book up and pressuring stores to stock and sell it.

Here's a couple of good links to help you understand the process. Read them. Learn them. If you plan to go with a small press or a POD self-publishing company, you'll need to know both the terminology and your path forward.

Understanding the Book Distribution Channels, by Jacqueline C. Simonds

An Analysis and Comparison of Book Distribution Agreements, by Ivan Hoffman

Should You Deal With a Book Distributor or Wholesaler? by Hal Licino

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Cathy Clamp is half of the USA Today bestselling author team of C.T. Adams and Cathy Clamp. They are winners of the 2008 Career Achievement Award in paranormal romance by RT BOOKreviews Magazine and are moving to the urban fantasy shelves as Cat Adams in June with Blood Song, the first in The Blood Singer series. Cathy has long supported SFWA's goals of protecting aspiring and published writers, and is a member of the Grievance Committee's Special Hasbro Task Force.

Cathy's/C.T.'s current releases and sample chapters of all of their books and anthologies are available at www.catadams.net


17 LinkedIn Tricks I learned While On My Way to Another Web Page

Posted On 4:38 PM by Official 1 comments

17 LinkedIn Tricks I learned While On My Way to Another Web Page

LinkedIn is a great networking tool. I am as guilty of not using it properly and not taking full advantage of all it has to offer as the next person. I found 17 different ways to put it to good use today. Some I knew and several I didn’t. They are compliments of Thomas Clifford, filmmaker. His blog, “Bringing Brands to Life” is a great blended discussion of his filmmaking abilities and Social Networking.
If you’re looking for a great primer on any facet of shooting and producing a corporate video you’ll find it here. Tom does a wonderful job of providing information and instilling confidence that he’ll be able to deliver the finished goods. Read the “About Tom” page and if you’re like me, you’ll immediately have a sense of what he’s like as a person.  Every client or prospect is faced with budget constraints in today’s world.  Want to leverage that upcoming video interview fully? Read his article about how to create 11 media products in 3 different formats from one interview.
In no particular order, here are three of his LinkedIn tricks that are some of my favorites:
  • #1 Create 3 saved searches- manually performing a people search with the same criteria is a pain in the… Did you know that you could save up to 3 searches and then get email notifications when there are changes?
  • #2 Create status updates in a snap- status updates are a quick and easy method to stay on your contact’s radar. What to write is always the dilemma. No more writer’s block.
  • #6 Spare your network from every little update- staying on their radar is one thing. Being notified constantly while making minor tweaks to your profile is another. Turn off notifications while you’re tweaking.
There are 14 more tricks that Tom gives you to put up your sleeve. Read the entire post, “17 Invisible LinkedIn Tricks Revealed”.  Using just a few of these tricks will make your LinkedIn time more productive and rewarding. Equally important is the concept that Tom has grasped quite fully. You must give value to your prospects and clients first, before you can ask in return.